List of points

You assured me that you wanted to fight without respite, and now you come to me with a long face.

Look, even humanly speaking, it is good not to find it all done for you, with no hitches. Something — a lot! — depends on you. Otherwise, how could you become a saint?

To be faithful to God requires a constant battle. Hand-to-hand combat, man to man — the old man against the man of God — in one small thing after another, without giving in.

Whoever really wants to achieve sanctity, takes no breaks or holidays.

We have to foster in our souls a true horror for sin. Lord — say it with a contrite heart — may I never offend you again!

But don’t be frightened when you become aware of the burden of your poor body and of human passions: it would be silly and childishly naive to find out now that “this” exists. Your wretchedness is not an obstacle but a spur for you to become more united to God and seek him constantly, because He purifies us.

Ups and downs. You have many, too many, ups and downs.

The reason is clear: till now, you have led an easy life, and you are reluctant to admit that there is a notable gap between “wanting to give” and “giving” oneself.

If you fool around, are inwardly and outwardly frivolous, hesitant when faced with temptation, wanting and not wanting, it will be impossible for you to advance in the interior life.

I have always thought that many mean by “tomorrow” or “later”, a resistance to grace.

Another paradox of the spiritual way: the soul which has less need to reform its behaviour struggles harder to do so, and does not stop until it has succeeded. And the contrary is also true.

You don’t know whether it is physical depression or a sort of interior tiredness that has come over you, or both at the same time… You fight without fighting, without the desire of an authentic positive improvement, to transmit the joy and love of Christ to souls.

I wish to remind you of the clear words of the Holy Spirit: only those who fight legitime, — genuinely, in spite of everything — will be crowned.

I could behave better, show more decision and spread around more enthusiasm… Why don’t I?

Because — forgive my frankness — you are a buffoon. The devil knows full well that one of the worst-guarded doors of the soul is that of human foolishness: vanity. That is where he attacks with all his might: pseudo-sentimental memories, the hysterical form of a black-sheep complex, the unfounded impression of a lack of freedom…

What are you waiting for in order to follow the Master’s injunction: Watch and pray, for you know not the day nor the hour?

You told me with a boasting but uncertain swagger that some go up and others go down… And others, like yourself!, are just idling.

Your indolence saddened me, and I added: idlers are made to shift by those going up; and — normally with greater vigour — also by those going down. Consider what an uncomfortable attitude you are adopting!

The holy bishop of Hippo already pointed it out: not to go forward is to go back.

In your life, there are two things that do not fit together: your head and your heart.

Your intelligence — enlightened by faith — shows you the way clearly. It can also point out the difference between following that way heroically or stupidly. Above all, it places before you the divine greatness and beauty of the undertakings the Trinity leaves in our hands.

Your feelings, on the other hand, become attached to everything you despise, even while you consider it despicable. It seems as if a thousand trifles were awaiting the least opportunity, and as soon as your poor will is weakened, through physical tiredness or lack of supernatural outlook, those little things pile up and excite your imagination, until they form a mountain that oppresses and discourages you. Things such as the rough edges of your work, your resistance to obedience; the lack of proper means; the will-o’-the-wisp attractions of an easy life; greater or smaller repugnant temptations; bouts of over-sentimentality; tiredness; the bitter taste of spiritual mediocrity… And sometimes also fear; fear because you know God wants you to be a saint, and you are not a saint.

Allow me to talk to you bluntly. You have more than enough “reasons” to turn back, and you lack the resolution to correspond to the grace that He grants you, since He has called you to be another Christ, ipse Christus! — Christ himself. You have forgotten the Lord’s admonition to the Apostle: “My grace is enough for you!”, which is confirmation that, if you want to, you can.

To advance in interior life and apostolate, you do not need devotion that you can feel, but a definite and generous disposition of the will to respond to what God asks of you.

Look at the great difference between the natural and the supernatural way of acting. The first begins well, but later ends up slackening. The latter begins equally well… and later struggles to become even better.

What sort of Christian perfection do you expect to achieve, if you are only following your whims and doing “what you like”? All your defects, unless you fight against them, will naturally produce bad works as their constant fruit. And your will, untempered by a persevering fight, will be of no use to you when a difficult occasion arises.