Not exaggerating difficulties

Don’t exaggerate these difficulties. Contemplative souls are able to see Jesus Christ in those around them and do not find it hard to put up with the more trying aspects of their fellow human beings. Indeed, simply putting up with someone seems little to them. What they want is actively to build up, to imitate Jesus Christ in his limitless charity and in his readiness to yield and concede in everything personal, as long as it does not offend God.

We who are strong, I will say with St Paul, have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbour for his good, to build him up (Rom 15:1-2).

Arguments

I have also taught you a practical rule, my daughters and sons, essential for living together and for building others up through charity: don’t argue or try to convince others by debating. Many people are not able to give in without feeling humiliated when they acknowledge that their opponent is right.

Not humiliating anybody

As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions (Rom 14:1). We should present the truth serenely, in a positive way, without controversy and without humiliating anyone. We should always leave people an honourable way out, so they can easily acknowledge their mistake, their lack of formation or information. Sometimes the most refined charity will be to let a person be convinced that they have discovered a new truth on their own. Do not argue, but instead study the problems calmly and provide doctrine in a written form.