I said that a saint is uncomfortable, but that does not mean he has to be unbearable. His zeal should never be a bitter zeal; his corrections should not be wounding; his example should not be a moral slap in the face to his friends. Christ’s charity, that holy tolerance of others I spoke of, should soften everything, so that no one will ever say of a child of mine what is said (unfortunately, at times justifiably) of certain good people: You need two saints to put up with one.

Seeking peace with everyone

Our attitude ought to be just the opposite. We don’t want anyone to leave us because we were unable to be understanding with them or treat them affectionately. We should never be the sort of people who are looking for a fight. So let us follow St Paul’s advice: If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (Rom 12:18).

We try to live in peace, even when others do not wish to: Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them... Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do for what is honourable in the sight of all (Rom 12:14,17). We never treat anyone as an enemy, since we cannot be enemies with anyone.